Manipulation is a strategy and behavior that a person uses to gain power or influence over another person. People who do manipulation are said to have manipulative properties. The characteristics of manipulative people are often manipulate facts, often emit bad humor, always judge, and often exploit partners.
Manipulative people never care about you and just want to use you to achieve their goals. Therefore, you need to recognize and deal with it immediately when you realize that you are involved with a manipulative person (manipulator).
What is manipulative?
Manipulative behavior is the strategies and behaviors that a person. Often these tactics involve attempts to undermine the emotional and mental well-being of others.
Emotional manipulation will affect the dynamics of a relationship. Manipulative people often engage in harmful behavior from time to time. This will create a power imbalance. The repercussions of this can be devastating, leaving a person feeling confused, isolated, or even depressed.
1. Manipulating facts and lying
A person with manipulative behavior often manipulates facts by lying, making excuses, blaming you or saying things without revealing the truth. They do this in order to feel in control of you and gain intellectual superiority.
Manipulative people often lie by saying or doing something and then denying it. This is to make you question your own memory of an event.
When you start to have doubts, they will blame you and make you feel responsible.
2. Exaggeration and generalization
Another characteristic of manipulative people is that they often exaggerate and generalize. They might say something like, “No one ever loved me.” Manipulative people also often use baseless accusations to make it harder for you to see gaps in their arguments.
3. Often utters bad humor
Manipulative people may say or do something mean and then reason that they are just joking. This is a tactic meant to attack your weaknesses and make you feel insecure. They will feel superior by making you look bad.
4. Doing gashlighting
Gaslighting is a method used to make you believe that you can no longer trust your own instincts and experiences. Gaslighting aims to make you confused and question your own reality.
A manipulative person will shirk if confronted about his lies, and turn around saying it never happened. For example, when the manipulator says, “Maybe you forgot, but at that time you also agreed, otherwise how could I have done it.”
5. Has a passive-aggressive nature
Passive-aggressive people do not necessarily manipulate. However, people who frequently manipulate others will use this method to make you feel guilty. They use this method to show anger without getting angry right away, leaving you confused and feeling guilty.
6. Always being judgmental
Another characteristic of manipulative people is that they are always judgmental and openly mock you. They want to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you, and nothing you do will be enough for them. The criticism they give is negative and destructive without providing constructive solutions.
7. Often give silent treatment
Silent treatment behavior is also one of the characteristics of manipulative people. Silent treatment means silence is one of the ‘punishments’ for what you did.
Silent treatment can be done either by breaking the silence while you’re with him, or ignoring any calls, messages, or other forms of communication you’re trying to establish with him. This is done in order to gain control and make you feel responsible for their behavior.
Manipulative people will take advantage of or exploit your weaknesses to fight and hurt you. They may make comments or act with the intention of making you feel irritated and vulnerable.
Another characteristic of manipulative people is that they are never responsible for their mistakes. The person will try to find a way to make you feel guilty for everything that happened, from the cause of an argument to a failed work project. You might end up apologizing though if they were the ones at fault.
How to deal with manipulative behavior
Manipulative people can be toxic and dealing with them can be exhausting. If you feel like you’re being manipulated in a relationship, there are several ways you can try to deal with it, such as the following:
1. Don’t get carried away
A manipulative person will try to get a certain emotional response from you. So don’t give them what they want and stay calm.
It’s important to be in control and not lose control when dealing with manipulative people. For example, when the manipulator often offers compliments before asking for extra help, don’t follow what he’s doing. Just reply politely and continue the conversation.
2. Have confidence
One of the things a manipulative person can do is make others doubt their abilities, intuition or even reality.
Therefore, you have to have confidence that you are not who they say you are, and stick with your story. If this happens frequently in close relationships, it may be time to end it.
3. Overcome the situation
Express manipulative behavior when it occurs, such as, “You lied!” . Staying focused on how the person’s actions affect you can help reach a resolution while emphasizing that their manipulative tactics won’t work on you.
4. Stay on topic
When you reveal behavior that makes you feel manipulated, the person may try to mess up the situation by changing the subject to distract. Keep your main point in mind and stick to it.